Newsletter June 21, 2024

Grow up! 

Ugh! Who wants to grow up? No one…let’s be a “Toys R Us” kid forever, (even though the store doesn’t exist anymore hahaha. I love the Jingle). 

I remember having three children and being overwhelmed…all I wanted was to get to the evening and put the kids to bed and have a glass of wine. That was when I could relax…ahhh I am done! But, I never had one glass of wine and I was never done. 

Sitting here writing this I know I am still not done, there is laundry in the washer and dishes in the sink…we are never done. 

My big question to myself is why do I want to be done? Why don’t I want to take responsibility for myself and get my stuff done? Because I want to be lazy instead! Sit and watch mindless television and just think of nothing…

Unfortunately I don't think this is what we were made to do; sit and just be bumps on a log. I think we need to educate ourselves, better ourselves and enjoy life even when it is a little more challenging. 

The good news is everything is always changing. When my children were young I wanted them to be old and now that they are old I want them to be young. See I have to grow up! 

Growing up can be painful at times. 

When I was young I would kick, scream and stomp my feet when I didn’t get my way. I no longer do those things and I have learned that now my children do what they want and most times that doesn’t include me and I have to be ok with that. They are grown-up! 

Making choices and decisions is a part of being an adult and it seems like today in the environment we live in it is ok to be wishy-washy and really not have an opinion. We need to make everyone happy! Everyone wins a trophy, everything is instantaneous gratification and you get what you want when you want it! You make choices given who the popular people are, you change your looks and sometimes your beliefs so that you fit in! 

It takes a lot of chutzpah and guts to stand up for what you believe in today. 

For instance, when your child wants something and you don’t want them to have it but you feel badly you still have to be a grown up and say NO! 

Another example is Justin Timberlake driving his car while intoxicated. Was that a grown up decision? I think not! He has enough money to call an Uber or probably any limo service and have them pick him up! But no, he got behind the wheel and thank God no one was hurt. He didn’t make a grown up decision! 

Being a grown up is not always fun. In fact it can be overrated but is there an alternative? I think not!

So rather than saying yes when you mean NO, it is time to own you! It is time to grow up! 

Have wonderful weekend sending big hugs

XO 

Elizabeth 

Newsletter for June 14, 2024

In 2024 it is hard to feed the light when there is so much darkness around us. But, when I was on my pilgrimage, one of the many lessons I learned was that fear is a sin. You cannot have faith while you are living in fear.

One of my favorite lines in the book Alcoholics Anonymous is “Faith without works is dead”!

So it is unanimous that if we have fear we can’t live in the light! Anxiety, the new (well maybe not so new) buzzword is a new way of saying, “I am scared.”

This week I met a man who is completely in his addiction. He kept repeating to me how he has so much anxiety. It was as if that feeling of anxiety was an excuse for drinking and drugging. He was scared and he has no other tools other than to manipulate and tell everyone how he is riddled with anxiety.

My response was, “Anxiety is just a word for fear, you are scared!”

We all have felt fear since Covid. We were all locked in our homes and had to clean our groceries before they came into our homes in fear that we may contract the disease through our food. It was insane! The media just filled all our homes with nonstop stories of how we were all going to die if we didn’t mask up and we didn’t sanitize everything!

63% of Americans claim to be Christian! Don’t we learn in the church that when we die we will go to heaven (if we were good people)? Do people believe that they are bad and they aren’t going to heaven?  Or is it that no one really believes what they hear in church? Or is it that the media and government won? 

I know this: the powers that be, ie. the government and media, sure were louder than your faith! The darkness took over! There was barely any light…we couldn’t meet in church and hear faith from our priests…no wonder the dark took over. 

These days I have to go to my faith first thing in the morning, before my feet touch the ground. I have to make a conscious effort to acknowledge that today is a new day, yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t here yet. Thank God for today! I listen to the Hallow App for some divine inspiration to get my day started. When I do that I start my day in the light of God and not the fear that comes out of the television and radio.

We have the choice to feed the light or the dark!

Another story I have is from the local dry cleaner. The owner, who is the most lovely woman, had a stroke. She is alive and on the mend but while she is in the hospital her daughter is running her store. I went in today to pick something up and the owner's daughter was distraught. Her Mom who she loves with all of her heart is sick and she couldn’t get out of the funk! We all have been there…

I said you need to focus on the light, your Mom is still here and presently at physical therapy. She is on the mend! You need to focus on the light and not the dark! She looked at me and said, “Oh my gosh, you are so right.”

The darkness pulls us all in at times and our job is to keep it at bay! Practice writing a gratitude list, remember all that really is good in the world and if you can’t find anything that is good then fake it!

I learned in meetings years ago that you fake it till you make it! How many fake being happy and joyous even when inside they are feeling terrible?  But I think just by faking it we change. A smile on your face can change everything. If you hold the door open for someone and watch the person's face, you see it light up! At least most of the time LOL.

When we get out of the way and help another person everything changes! I know when I help another I am no longer focused on me! I am focused on the person that I am helping.

Reach out today and help someone else.

Remember that the light is stronger than the dark!

One way I stay in the light is by wearing bright clothing! I swear it helps me start my day on the right foot. If I wear dark colors I feel a little drab!

So go put on your colorful or white outfit and if you don’t feel better instantly give it time and try faking it!

Have a wonderful weekend!

By the way if you haven’t joined my Patreon account I would be beyond grateful if you did. Here is the link: 

Patreon:https://patreon.com/busylivingsoberpodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Also, I am starting to go LIVE on Monday’s starting July 1st at Noon est on Instagram. 

Until next time, have a happy, happy. 

XO 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy

Newsletter for June 7th, 2024

I have been watching a lot of podcasts lately. Shawn Ryan’s interviews with Tucker Carlson and Jordan Peterson I loved and learned so much. And Tucker’s interview with the President of El Salvador, Nayib Bukele, was incredible! 

What I found so interesting from these three men was that God was the most important thing to all of them. All three gave God the credit for where they are today. God is everything to them! 

In the Bible it says

Matthew 19:26

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’”

In AA from the book Alcoholics Anonymous, page 53 

“When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be? I heard that either “God is everything or he is nothing”

When we make the decision to rely on ourselves or other people to cure us or make us happy, we ourselves and the other people fall short! We are human! We make mistakes….

These days I am finding it more and more interesting how true it is that we can’t rely completely on any person! All humans are fallible.  

For example as you all know I am a conservative Catholic woman and I just started going back to the Catholic Church and priests are not all the same and do not all believe the same things. Naively I thought that they did, I thought that every Catholic priest was conservative and believed that our Pope was kind off his rocker! But, I was WRONG!!!!

Here is an example of this: I met a friar when I was in Medjugorje and he is from Florida. I thought meeting this man of God was a sign that YES I am on the right path! He is from my area in South Florida and I met him thousands of miles away from home in Bosnia. Is this ironic or a God wink? I of course thought it was a sign from God! 

I was over the moon!!!!I had a sign!!! I was so excited! I got the Friars number and made a plan to meet in Florida.

BTW was I wrong in that all priests had the same beliefs, in fact quite the contrary! 

When meeting the friar again here in Florida I learned that he has completely opposite views than I have! He was adamant about his stance! We sat on opposite sides of the aisle! 

Now did that make me run away again from the Catholic Church? No it did not because in reality God is not about the building or the person giving the sermon. It is about believing in God and trusting that God has control, not any human standing in front of you professing something that you know in your heart not to be true! 

God gives human beings the ability to make choices! 

I can only judge what is good for me and what is bad for me. That may be different than what another believes but I have to go with what works for me at my core! It isn’t my job to make others happy or convince people to believe the same way I do….but it is my job to be honest with myself! At times this is difficult because there is so much noise! 

My belief is that we all have to decipher what is right and wrong in our hearts and be true to that! As my son Henry always says, “You do you boo boo”. 

Find your path and what works for you and hold that sacred! 

Know that God loves you no matter what and that you are never alone. 

Keep getting busy living sober! 

Have a great weekend

XO

Elizabeth 

Newsletter for May 31st, 2024

Miracles are everywhere if you can be open to them. 

I went to an AA meeting yesterday and it had been a while since I was at an actual in-person meeting. The last one I went to was in Bosnia so it had been 3 weeks, I would never recommend going this long but I did…Like everything I can fault the humans attending. 98% of the time I leave a meeting I feel amazing and one of those days was yesterday. 

Now this AA meeting wasn’t anything special on the outside, and the day wasn’t that out of the ordinary…it was sunny and warm. The building where I attended the meeting was a little beaten up, it needs a fresh coat of paint and the bathrooms really need to be cleaned but going to an AA meeting is not about aesthetics, it is all about the magic you feel when you are in a room of strangers talking about how transformed your life has been since putting down the drink/drug once and for all. 

This was the first time that I saw someone get a chip (what they give out to mark annual anniversaries, milestones in AA) for having 50 years of continuous sobriety!!! 50 years, I mean I was 5 when this person got sober. They were 21! Once the person decided that they were done that was it! No relapses, just everyday waking up saying “I’m not going to drink today”. 

But, I believe from the bottom of my soul that God has a huge part in someone’s sobriety! I know that the afternoon that I fell to my knees in the hot sand of the Jersey shore, and prayed like I have never prayed, begging God to help me ... .I was so desperate! All I wanted was to not hurt anymore from alcohol. I had asked many times before. When I woke up in the morning after a big night of partying and saying “God please…I can’t do this anymore” but that didn’t stick. It was when I actually got on my knees and said, “God help me” that he did. I had to get humble. 

What is humble? 

Webster’s Dictionary definitions of humble is:

• : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive

• : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission

• a humble apology

• : ranking low in a hierarchy or scale : INSIGNIFICANT, UNPRETENTIOUS

• b

• : not costly or luxurious

• a humble contraption

For me personally I think that being humble is the ability to look at yourself and accept who you are, the bumps, lumps, lines, scars, sins and all. When you look in the mirror to accept who you are. I believe that God created us all and we need to embrace ourselves. Love ourselves. No one is perfect! 

Thinking that if you change this or that about yourself will then immediately give you self esteem and self acceptance is kind of ludacris in my mind. I believe that whoever we are we have to love ourselves the way God made us. I know if a plastic surgeon is reading this they think that I am wrong! Go under the knife and a doctor will make you perfect. What if you are already perfect? Plastic surgeons will go out of business?? LOL 

Getting to the place where we love ourselves takes a lot of work! A lot of praying! A lot of quiet! A lot of acceptance! 

One of my most favorite prayers in AA is the Acceptance Prayer: 

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

This Prayer helped me countless times on my journey. Whenever I was feeling fearful, lost, ashamed, powerless, I would pull out the book of Alcoholics Anonymous and go to page 417 (of the fourth edition) and read the Acceptance Prayer and right away I would feel better. Crazy that reading a prayer and praying can bring you so much peace. 

I believe that when I pray that God is listening and he loves me (and you for that matter) more than I could ever imagine. Humans are the ones that are sometimes scary and mean. God is not mean. 

Jordan Peterson was just on a Reel on Instagram and spoke about getting sober and he said that one must have a Spiritual connection “No treatment centers work, but people do quit. The most reliable cure is a religious transformation.” For me, I am not so sure about the transformation but when I entered AA, my relationship with God changed. I always have loved God and even given him credit for everything in my life, but did I see and feel him the way I have since getting sober, no. 

Today, I can see the magic of God everywhere I go and most especially when I am in the rooms of AA. In the rooms you can see people transform in front of your eyes. They come into a meeting looking lost and sad and give or take 90 days and in that time you see a sad person become happy, you see the person's eyes go from being shallow to bright and filled with hope and faith! It is an absolute miracle! 

You may have had a different experience personally. You may not have ever felt free or watch a loved one finally put down the drink for good but don’t ever lose hope or faith. 

I remember when I got sober in 2006 and my kids' dad was still drinking and he was drinking a lot. My anger towards him was over the top! Everytime I thought of him I got enraged! I would call my sponsor (my fellow traveler in the rooms of AA) and tell her everything that was going on about him. How he was doing this and that. She would listen patiently…I could have gone on for hours (she is a Saint). Finally when I would be finished ranting she would say, “now Elizabeth go and pray for him.” I thought this woman was MAD!!!! “Pray for my drunk ex-husband, it’s never going to happen.” She said, “you want to get better – go pray for him”....

When I asked a woman to sponsor me for some reason I listened to everything she said! I took my marching orders…stomping my feet but in the end I decided ok! “I’ll pray for him”!

I prayed and prayed for him! 

7 years of praying and one day my kids’ dad called me as he was about to be arrested for drinking and driving. Yes, he called me, his ex-sober wife! Crazy right! And, they say miracles don’t happen and prayer doesn’t work! 

Today he has over 10 years of continuous sobriety! 

So never give up hope!

While you are alive and breathing you can pray and it may not be on your time schedule but, I know God is listening! Don’t ever give up! 

Hope you have a stupendous weekend and week and until next time keep getting busy living sober. 

XO 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy 

Newsletter for Friday May 24th, 2024

Authenticity, Transparency and No More Self Doubt

I woke up after recording Wednesday’s podcast with self doubt. My doubt was in my transparency and authenticity. When I record my podcasts I pray, I ask God and The Blessed Mother to speak through me and what comes through me is raw and authentic. I share from my heart and afterwards I question, “should I have said that?”

Do you ever feel that way? 

Do you question what you believe? 

I want to change! I want to embrace who I am and what I believe. 

Prior to going on my pilgrimage, I would never have thought that prayer and saying the rosary would give me so much peace, but it has. It has given me the strength to be my authentic self. Embracing that peace and knowing in my heart that what I may say may offend others or some may not agree is OK! When we are born, we are given the ability to choose and make decisions that are true for us, in our best interest and others may not agree and may be angered by our choice and that is fine! The truth is if we are honest and coming from a place of love then if we offend we can just say, “I am sorry I offended you but, this is my truth!”

In my opinion, these times of late have brought so much anxiety and unrest because I feel that society or at the least what the media portrays is that we all must think and act the same. We all must embrace this WOKE culture and accept things that we know in our hearts aren’t true. For example, the they/them, he/her pronouns. When did the sex we were born become such a hot topic? I believe it isn’t that complicated! Either you are a girl or a boy. It is one or the other. Society wants us to believe that it is an individual's decision and if you don’t like what you were born into, you can change it! I think that is just insane! 

When I was in Medjugorje and I spoke to the young people there about the US vs Bosnia Herzegovina the first thing they said was, “if someone in our Country tried to teach our children about a WOKE narrative we would shoot them”! I asked why do you think that it is happening in the US and they said without question, “Mental Illness!”

Today we keep our mouths shut and opinions to ourselves so that we don’t offend. We stay quiet and only speak to a small group that we know that we can be honest with. Fear of being judged as racist or simple-minded trumps being and saying what we know in our hearts to be true. 

It is funny, lately on my podcast I have been very forthright about being Catholic, loving God and being a Patriot. I support Donald Trump and with that I received many emails from listeners thanking me for being honest, thanking me for being strong! They say that I am courageous and fearless. Is that true? 

I don’t think that I am necessarily all of those adjectives, but I do know that I have strong beliefs and I know what I believe to be true. I can accept that I see things as right and wrong. I don’t and I am not wishy washy in what I believe at my core. This set of core beliefs were instilled in me at a very young age. As a family growing up it was not a choice whether or not we went to church! No excuse (besides being ill) would be accepted, you went to church Sunday mornings whether you liked it or not. Today, looking back, that is where I learned right from wrong. That is where I learned the 10 commandments and that God died for us. 

When I hit my teenage years I made choices now looking back were not always in my best interest. I chose not to go to Church anymore and I put all of those core beliefs in the back of my mind and chose to go and experiment! That is when I started drinking, became an alcoholic (I kind of believe I was born this way, I always had the alcoholic gene, and it wasn’t until I drank too much that the gene was triggered. Once you become a pickle you can’t be a cucumber again) and made choices that got me in trouble and brought on more regrets and shame than I could have ever expected. 

Today being sober and back to where I was when I was a child is a gift that I cherish more than money or words could ever express. God loves me (he loves you too) and he has given me this gift to be honest and authentic no matter what the cost. 

Friendships and followers have changed, some have decided to unsubscribe or have deleted my number and my social media accounts but that is the price I am willing to pay to be true to myself and to God. Life is about making choices and for many years I did things to make others like me and today I am who I am and voice who I am knowing that I am GOOD! I can sleep at night knowing that I spoke my truth! I ask God to speak through me and if it offends then so be it. 

My prayer for you reading this is that you have the courage to speak up and be your authentic self because God made you exactly the way you are. Don’t ever be ashamed of yourself if you are speaking from your heart, your core. Your beliefs are yours and they aren’t wrong even if they are different from mine. 

I respect others and love everyone even if I don’t want to break bread with everyone I love from my heart. 

Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend and if you could take some time to acknowledge the fallen soldiers that died for our freedoms (what are left of them) that would be lovely. Memorial Day of late has been about sales at department stores and the barbecue and not about what this day represents and that is our ability to vote, pray to whatever God we want and to speak our truths! 

God Bless America! 

Have a wonderful holiday and keep getting busy living sober. 

XO

Elizabeth Chance 

Newsletter for May 17, 2024

Why me?

Do you ever think that? 

Why is this happening to me? Why do I have this horrible problem? Why am I experiencing this? Why, why, why? 

I have had this feeling countless times in my life. Why was I born to this family? Why isn’t my son talking to me? Why are some of my children having to face the problems that they are facing? 

Today for the first time I had an explanation! One that actually made sense. 

We all have to endure life and its challenges because we learn from them, and they prepare us for things that may happen in the future. 

Remember that saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” 

I believe that today. 

Can life be hard and challenging? Yes! There is no question it is hard at times. But, if we didn’t have the challenges we wouldn’t know what peace and serenity were. 

Today I was listening to the Hallow app and the story of the Blessed Mother Mary. Mary was a regular girl but, it now is believed, and maybe was alway believed, that Mary was put on this Earth and born to her mother by the Divine. She didn’t always have it easy, can you imagine becoming pregnant after never having sex! That would be unfathomable. One would be questioning like crazy but she was! Mary was pregnant and gave birth to Jesus. I am sure she thought to herself, why me! Why was I chosen???

We all go through things that challenge us and make us think why me…. 

I believe that we all brave things that we question but if we can think to ourselves that there is a reason and we might not know right now the reason why we can trust that it is part of our Father’s divine plan. 

We all get to make choices and have free will. It is our decisions that lead us to where we presently are in our lives. Some decisions in the moments we think are the best idea and soon later find out we were wrong. But, we don’t have to question. We just have to trust that we are where we are for a reason. It is time to take this opportunity to grow and change. We can’t let it kill us. 

Drugs and alcohol made my life bearable. It made the why so much easier in the moments. I could live! I could go on. In a way alcohol saved me, but it also stole from me. It stole my heart and my soul. I was in so much pain, I needed something to quell that pain and alcohol did the trick till it didn’t anymore. When I put down that last drink in August of 2006 I had to face the why and figure out a new way to cope. I went to 12 Step meetings and talked…I let things that had been built up inside go…I found my person that listened and didn’t judge me. I could be honest! 

We all get to be honest today and say yes, this isn’t fair and this is really uncomfortable but I can endure. I can go on. In fact, we get to look at the why and say why not me? I get to feel these feelings and be challenged because this challenge is going to make me stronger, wiser and able to actually help others that may go through the same experience. 

Listening this morning to The Blessed Mother’s story but also Mary Magdalene's story, I felt a real peace. They both were challenged and they came out the wiser and examples for us today to be able to relate and know in our hearts that we can and will get through anything.

As I am writing this, I see my rosary, and think back to just 2 months ago and the thought that I would ever be saying the rosary daily would be absolutley ludicrous! I hadn’t practiced Catholicism in decades and now I couldn’t imagine not doing it. It is like brushing my teeth! I have to do it because it fills me and my heart. It gives me the sense that I am doing something to better things, not just for me but for my family and the world. 

We are living in challenging times but I believe from the bottom of my heart that there is a reason. We are all going to be able to look back and say we got through it! It was hard but we did it and we learned. 

Life is so interesting and amazing! 

If life were always easy and we all just sat around and ate bon-bons it surely would be boring and uneventful! Some days I wish my life was uneventful but then I wouldn’t have the courage or knowledge to share from my heart. 

I want everyone to know that they aren’t alone. We all question and ask why; we all have something to handle and some things are easier to handle than others but you have to know that you are never alone and maybe even have some faith to know that this is making you stronger! 

You are amazing and you get to experience it! 

I hope you have a stupendous weekend! 

Have a happy, happy life and keep getting busy living sober. 

XO 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy 

Newsletter for May 10, 2024

It’s the Friday before Mother’s Day — does this bring up emotions for you? 

For me it totally does. My mother passed away 3 years ago and when she was alive it was hard. Why? Because we always had a strained relationship. I would venture to the card store and none of the sappy cards I felt were relevant to me and my mom. I never wanted to send something that wasn’t sincere. I wanted to send something to the effect that yes, I was happy that she gave birth to me and taught me manners and how to present myself, and how to act in any situation but I never felt like I could talk to her and know that she really loved me and wanted the best for me. As I write this it is making me sad. I always wanted those relationships with my Mom that they have portrayed in the movies. I wanted a Mom that loved me and never judged me but in reality that was not our relationship. 

Now that she is gone I have so much more of an appreciation for her. I miss her. 

Today I realize that she was the best Mom she could be for me. She gave me her best and me wishing and hoping that things were different is a waste of time and energy. 

One of the main takeaways from my visit to Medjugorje was that the Blessed Mother is there for me and all other humans living on Earth. She brings me joy and contentment. Since starting the rosary as one of my daily practices I have felt peace like never before. I don’t need to focus on the past; it is behind me. I can look back and learn but I cannot stare and wish for things to have been different. Emotions and feelings about a relationship that wasn’t what I ideally wanted does not bring me peace today, it makes me sad and frustrated. It was what it was….

Can you relate to this? 

Today being a Mom with a child that doesn’t speak to me is hard! I miss my child/adult everyday of my life. He hasn’t left my heart and strangely enough I am not mad. I am hurt. We are missing precious time that I know we are never going to get back. I respect him and his wishes and I ask in prayer that he can find forgiveness in his heart. 

When I think back to my relationship with my Mother I wish that I could have been more forgiving. I wish that I had taken my Mother as she was, not how I wanted her to be. 

We all put a lot of pressure on our loved ones — we want them to be how we want them to be! I hold them on a different level. In my heart I put them on a level that they should be and act a certain way instead of looking at them as human beings doing the best that they can. 

In all of my readings of late, which have been about the Blessed Mother, she talks about not judging others. I have spent years, decades judging others! It doesn't feel good! I know that it is wrong in my heart but I continue to label people as bad or good, when I should look at them as being who they are! Perfect! Each of us gets up in the morning and I think (maybe idyllically) that we all try and do our very best. We don’t wake up thinking who can hurt today! We need to have more compassion. 

As I mentioned my Mom is not here on Earth anymore and I miss her and I think it would be great if what I knew now I knew then. 

That is life, we learn, we reflect, we want to be better! We want to learn and search in our hearts how we can find peace and serenity. 

After I have searched and searched I have finally found my answer in God and the Blessed Mother. They help me find peace…I love today. I take time to listen to my heart. 

When I was in my active alcoholism I used alcohol to quell the pain and in the beginning of my recovery I put up a wall around my heart. I didn't want to let anyone in for fear of being hurt. After many relationships where I did let my wall down I was hurt countless times by others that I trusted but I can’t stay in a place where I stay closed. I can’t continue to work from a place of being on the defensive. I have to open…I have to be willing, I have to change. 

I know that I am on a new path and that I am open and that I want things to be different. I want to be different. With that being said, it takes work! I don’t mean hard manual labor work, I mean I have to get quiet, pray, breathe, trust. Open my heart.. And some days that is harder than others. 

My message to you all reading this is that I pray you find trust, know that you are not alone. Life is not a dress rehearsal, we are not going to be here forever, life isn't always going to be how it is today. Take the time to pray, get quiet, listen to what your insides are telling you! Not the negative but the positive. You Get to have this, you get to experience, You get to feel! Feelings aren’t facts, they are momentary reactions. Be kind to you and the ones around you. If you are feeling uncomfortable identify where that feeling is coming from and change it. 

If your Mom isn’t here anymore, if you have a strained relationship with your Mother or your child, if you are longing to be a Mom and you are not looking forward to Sunday May 12th, remember that it is just a day. Maybe use the day to reflect on the good times, the happy memories and know in your heart that next year it may be a completely different day for you! Have hope…

To all of the Moms out there, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day! And to the women that aren’t Moms, have an amazing Sunday. 

Sundays are a day of rest so take care of yourself and your heart. Smile at someone, hold the door for someone, do something that will make another person happy. Joy is such a wonderful feeling and giving to others brings me the most joy. I remember when my children were young and I wanted things and feelings that I could control, if I could go back I would just let go and enjoy the moments. 

Have a wonderful weekend, enjoy life and the simple things because in the end it is the simple things that make us the most happy! 

Take care and until next week, keep getting busy living sober. 

Sending big hugs and love to you all. 

XO 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy 

Newsletter #14

I’m back!!! 

Three weeks away and I feel like a new person. I had no real expectations on what my trip was going to be…because of that, I was open to new experiences and let my fears, apprehensions, and possibilities go…

I wanted a new encounter. 

Life is so precious and valuable and we all let things get into our way. Thoughts, fears and our egos. 

I hear from people all of the time that need help and want to change but are stuck! They can’t get past the thought of, “what is everyone going to think of me?”, “how am I going to be judged by my peers”? Do we ever think about how we are going to be judged at the end of our life? How are our family going to view us? 

My personal experiences in the past were that I put strangers' views and opinions of me above my own feelings. I put a need to be accepted by the “right people” above doing the right, kind and loving actions. Can you relate to that? It is in all of the movies, and television shows. What lengths are you going to go to feel Cool? To feel like you are worthy? Are you willing to change your appearance so that you can change to fit the mold that society is screaming for you to look like? Do you have your own opinion or is the opinion of your friend that is popular more important than what you know in your heart to be right? Do you take the time to listen to your heart? 

The only reason that I can talk about these things is because I have experienced these traits personally. 

I let others' views of me or I should say what I thought others felt (now I know no one is really thinking about me at all) surpass what I knew in my heart was right for me. Getting sober was one of those stages in my life that I put what I thought others would think of me not drinking above what I knew was right at my core. At the end of the day it was about me and no one else….

On my trip to Medjorgia I felt like I was being judged, but now I know it was me judging me! But in the moment it was easier to put it on other people. 

Medjorgia is a place like no other that I had experienced before going. It was as if I went back in time. God and the Blessed Mother were everywhere. People were there searching for that feeling that we are OK! That God is alive and so is the Blessed Mother. We were there to have a feeling that has fallen away from society. The feeling is that we are not alone. That there is something bigger than us, that life isn’t about what you're wearing, or who your friends are. It is about being loving, kind and accepting of what graces you have. We are all individuals with amazing gifts and traits that are special. We are special. We are loved even though it may seem at times that we aren’t. I can tell you that indeed we are perfect! The exact way God made us. 

I don’t want to come off as a holy zealot, but I went on this pilgrimage not knowing why I was there to know exactly the reason. I am on a path/journey to help others to know that they are not alone. You are loved and you too can change if you just open your heart. If you let life happen, embrace who you see in the mirror. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. 

In the past 17 years I have searched, and searched for answers. Took a yoga teacher training, went to Kabbalah classes and then some looking for answers to why? Why am I here? What am I doing? Searching for things outside of myself when all of the time everything was inside of me. I have been given so many gifts, most importantly my sobriety and my relationship with God. I am OK! And I am here to tell you that you are OK! 

It is OK to rest, relax, and listen to your heart. 

When we are running all of the time it is hard to hear. Noise is everywhere and I have learned that when I get quiet and let the noise go, put down my phone, stop looking at social media, stop watching the news I can hear peace. 

I have always been searching for peace and serenity and until now I thought it was something I had to buy. A course, a coach, a therapist and today I know that if I just take time in the morning and pray, meditate, listen to the birds, peace and serenity appear and give me the ability to spend my day living in grace rather than fear. 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and week and know that you are never alone. You can always reach out to me if you need a friend just to listen. 

You got this, I promise. 

Have a happy happy 

Love, 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy 

Newsletter #13

Happy Spring! 

Happy Easter to all my listeners that celebrate. I absolutely love this time of year! When I was living in the Northeast or Midwest this time of year was all about daffodils popping their heads and trees sprouting new growth. 

Spring is a time of rebirth. Everything is green and colorful after a long winter. Even if the groundhog says Spring is early, when it arrives it is such a happy time. No more gray cold days. 

I am reflecting on what I built 7 years ago, Busy Living Sober. Who knew that I would have started a podcast? Now this was before the “podcast”was a household name. When the lovely people at Zero to Five (marketing firm) suggested that I start a podcast, I asked, “what is a podcast and how do I do that?”. Needless to say as of today I have published 430 podcasts and it has been a lot of fun~! But….

430 episodes in. I am pondering if this is what I really want to do moving forward? 

The problem is I have really made a go of this and put a lot of time and effort into this passion of mine and it is not a money maker. In fact, it is more of a money taker LOL! Nevertheless, it isn’t only about the money — it is the questioning that I do constantly that is driving me nutty! Every so often I think to myself, “is this what I want to do?”, “is this the best use of my time?” and more often it is, “God, what do you want me to be doing with my life and the gifts that you have given me?” Do you ever feel like this? Like, “God, what do you want me to do?” If you do please reach out to me and let me know so I don’t feel so crazy, elizabeth@elizabethchance.com. 

I heard years ago that if you don’t know what to do, do nothing. 

So I am heading to Europe early in April and I will be gone most of the month and I am giving myself this time to sit and reflect and let go. I will be praying and hoping to hear answers as to where and what I should be doing in the future. 

It is Elizabeth 5.0 and it is time for me to really make a decision on whether or not I am going to continue my work as a podcaster or if it is time for me to pivot and change directions and get into something new….

You will not be receiving a Newsletter in the month of April and I will not be putting out new podcasts of me solo while I am away. I will still have guests on Mondays and some old episodes will fill in on Wednesdays. 

I am leaving my computer at home and I will be using a pen and paper while I am away (the old-fashioned way) to reflect and journal all of my adventures in Croatia, Bosnia, and Italy. 

This trip is going to be filled with spirituality, self reflection, and fun! 

Look for a Newsletter the first Friday in May and until then I wish you all the very best. 

Remember that you are never alone and that life is an adventure. Take it one day at a time and some days seconds at a time. 

Have a happy, happy 

See you all in May 

XO 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy 

Newsletter #12

Stress! 

How many of you feel stress? 

Psychology Today Defines Stress as: 

Stress generally refers to two things: the psychological perception of pressure, on the one hand, and the body's response to it, on the other, which involves multiple systems, from metabolism to muscles to memory.

Some stress is necessary for all living systems; it is the means by which they encounter and respond to the challenges and uncertainties of existence. The perception of danger sets off an automatic response system, known as the fight-or-flight response, that, activated through hormonal signals, prepares an animal to meet a threat or to flee from it.

In today’s world we allow things, people, places and things to stress us out. 

We want things to be perfect, we compare ourselves to others and how others look on the outside and strive for something that may be unattainable for whatever reason. 

Wanting to feel perfect leads to feelings of inadequacy which in turn make us sick. Striving for something that is almost impossible to attain can result in hopelessness  and unless you have tools to fix those feelings you will reach out for a drink or a drug. In my opinion. You want those things because they calm you. 

It is a known fact that we are a very stressed out society, the powers at be like that we feel out of control and lacking. Those feelings are what make us want to buy things, fill our hole inside of ourselves with material items, alcohol and drugs. It wants us to be sick!

If we take time to just stop, breathe and really look at what is going on that is causing our stress we can calm down. We can look at things rationally and know that all that needs to be done will get done. 

Getting back to basics is what has always helped me. I remember thinking ok, are my kids safe? Are they fed? Are they nice loving little people? Are they clean? 

That is all that really matters. 

Perfection is unattainable and knowing that you are doing your best and showing up as your best self is all that really matters. All your family wants is love and security, all the other material stuff is great but it won't make you happy or fulfilled. 

Love your life….relax…breathe…settle down and if you can stay off of social media it will not help you on your path to feeling less stress, I promise you!  Social media promotes stress so stay away especially if you are looking for some serenity. 

Have a wonderful weekend and a 

Happy, Happy 

Love, 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy

Newsletter #11

Do you ever just give up, throw in the towel? Say, “forget it, I’m done”, or do you preserve and keep going? 

Life is a journey…not a destination. A quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson is so apropos. 

When I was young, when all big dreams started, I wanted to be the next Barbara Walters (for those that don’t know who she is — she was the number one woman journalist for decades) but I started drinking at 13 and those dreams went to the wayside. But, I have never said, I give up, that's it! I am never getting my dream, I am too old, too set in my ways, not smart enough and the list of why I should give up is long. But, because I now know that life is a journey and not a destination I can keep trying. 

We all have dreams, some big and some small but, everyone that is breathing has some remembrance of being young and dreaming of what they wanted to be…

Unfortunately there are people in our lives that steer us away from reaching those goals because of that person's fears and inadequacies. 

I understand that growing up and wanting to be a professional athlete or a movie star is hard and it doesn’t happen to too many people but, what if you could still make a career out of playing the sport just at a lower level or acting in just your local theater? Would that be bad? It may not make you millions, but at the end of the day, is it all about the money or the experience? 

I have been watching a show on Netflix and then reading a book where the common theme is that the person that wants to be rich is always the one that is sad, unfulfilled at the end of his or her life or becomes addicted to drugs, alcohol, or sex, or all three. They are not fulfilled but the person that is living their life doing something that they dreamed of is happy, fulfilled, and at peace. 

One may be happy everyday but it seems as an observer that the person that has goals of achieving success in what they love are better off. 

We all have dreams and goals. Don't let the almighty dollar stand in the way of your aspirations. 

My opinion is that if we give up on our dreams and reach for the dollar, tragic things happen like drug addiction and alcoholism or worse complete and utter depression and sadness. 

I have never given up even though it hasn’t been easy but whoever said life was easy lied to you! 

You have one life (as far as I know). Why wouldn’t you reach for your personal stars?

I’m cheering you on! Don’t ever, ever give up on your dreams no matter how old or young you are! 

Have a happy happy 

Love, 

Elizabeth, Bizzy

Newsletter #10

Happy Friday!!! 

I don’t know if you had a chance to listen to episode 424 [link to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw4uAjx9eho] this week where I talk about worrying, and God’s winks, but I have to say it resonated with a lot of people. Ironically — or maybe a God wink — I have heard from so many people today in one-on-one conversations that a lot of people are worried. Why is that? 

Another word people use for worry is anxiety. We are a society of anxious people. One of my guests on the show was Dr John Delony [link to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt_gatZ6ow0] who makes a living coaching people via his book and podcast about how to have a non-anxious life. And is that working? 

Tucker Carlson made a fascinating comment on his interview with Lex Friedman last week that “Our society is so sick. People are still picking up and using drugs knowing that they are laced with deadly doses of fentanyl”. And, he is right! 

There is a famous TedTalk and study about rats. I am going to abbreviate the story but here’s the gist. Rats that lived in solitary worlds used cocaine and drugs a lot more than rats that lived with other rats and that had fun things to do with the other rats. The drugs were available to the rats that had a bunch of friends but the rats didn’t want it! Why? Because the rats were happy and fulfilled in relationships with other rats. 

How different are we from rats? In this article from Dec. 4, 2023 Conversation.com https://theconversation.com/rats-are-more-human-than-you-think-and-they-certainly-like-being-around-us-216846 we are more similar than one would think. So what if we tried hanging out with one another more often? Is it too late? 

Has AI already taken hold of society as we used to know it? I think we are not at the place where we can’t change this, I am optimistic and I think we can change. We can spend more time together socially. 

Thinking back over my 55 years on this planet I can honestly say that I am so happy when I am spending time with other people. It is something instinctual that I feel when I am around others. That is why family has been such a place of joy over the centuries. 

We all have theories of why our governments, the powers that be, want to keep us apart. Some believe in conspiracy theories and I respect whatever you want to believe but, I believe that we need more togetherness and less isolation. We need WE! 

No more sitting in your house watching the television, or gaming with friends on the internet. It is time to come together. Whether it be at the park, church, synagogue, mosque, mall, just somewhere other than your home. We need to come together because love at the end of the day beats sadness, loneliness and anxiety. 

Life isn’t about our outsides and materialism! It is about our insides! It is about our hearts, our brains, our breath. We need to learn to let the nagging inside voice that tells us that we aren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough to make new friends. Those are all lies! 

Take a chance this weekend, find a church, a group that interests you and find out when they meet and go! Go see, go take a chance. No more time for fear, it is time to come together. 

Please don’t let your fears or anxieties get in the way of your happiness. Try something new, and if you don’t like that keep trying! It may take some time to like the new group but don’t give up on your happiness, you are worth it. 

At the end of the day we will all feel fear/anxiety. It is part of the human make-up, but it doesn’t always have to take front and center. Think about it. If you were spending time with a bunch of friends you wouldn’t be spending a lot of time thinking about yourself. You would be listening and engaging in conversation, hopefully the conversation would be about a subject that interested you, hence why it is important to find a group that has similar interests to you. 

You can make new friends, I promise. 

Today my shirt says, “The Purpose of life is to be Happy” Dalai Lama

You got this! 

Have a happy, happy. 

Love, 

Elizabeth Chance aka Bizzy 

Newsletter #9

Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit

The first day of every month my kids and I say to each other rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, to wish each other good luck for the month ahead. It is a funny little tradition that we have and I had to share with you. 

Do you have any silly traditions you do with your family? Please let me know. I would love to hear them…

Today I have been thinking about our inner voice, I would call it our inner critic but I decided not to. Criticism is a negative way of looking at our thoughts. I want us to look at our thoughts and relate them to how we are feeling in the moment, and feelings are ever changing. They are like liquid… and can’t really fit into a good or bad category. Because in one moment it may be good and the next bad. 

I have really been trying to stop and pay attention to my thoughts and recognize them as productive and non-productive. The negative thoughts are mostly in the “need to change that” file. For example, I just texted a friend and they haven’t gotten back to me in seconds or minutes and a negative thought maybe, “that person hasn’t texted me back, oh they must not like me”. How many people feel like that all of the time? I would bet a lot.  

It is my job to look at that irrational thought and change it. Instead of “they don’t like me” doesn’t it feel better if you instead think, “oh they must be really busy today’” and, “they will get back to me later ... .All's good.” That is how we change what is happening between our ears. 

One of the hardest thoughts that I had in the past was the thought, “am I an alcoholic”? That was one that lingered for years. I knew I had a problem but I didn't want to deal with it until I was really ready. 

That thought bounced in my head the most after I had decided to go out. See I was a black out drinker so if I went out I had probably had 47 cocktails, did and said things that I wasn’t proud of or worse yet, I had said and done things that I couldn’t remember. That was the absolute worst, I hated myself. 

I didn’t want to be an alcoholic but I knew that I was! Read that again, I knew I was an alcoholic! It didn’t matter what my friends or family for that matter thought about me and my relationship with alcohol. It was how I felt. 

Everytime I drank I felt bad.

When I had trouble in my life, alcohol was involved. 

So, when I was finally ready to say out loud that I had an issue with alcohol was the moment my relationship with alcohol changed. I knew I couldn’t go on anymore with the insanity of my thoughts going back and forth, “Am I an alcoholic”. 

When I made the decision to break up with booze, it was over. 

Alcohol and I don’t mix well. Not to mention I can’t go back to the insanity. 

That was when everything changed. 

So if you are out there with an inner voice that is questioning your relationship with alcohol it is up to you to take the time to examine your thoughts. Is it true? Do you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol? It is then and only then that you can take charge and change. 

I pray that when you come to whatever conclusion that you come to is at a time when it isn't too late. 

In closing I will tell you I have never regretted giving up alcohol, my only regret is that I wish I had done it sooner. 

Have a happy happy and until next time keep getting busy living sober. 

XO 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy 

Newsletter #8

I woke up this morning later than usual…(thank you God, my sleep has been off lately, waking at 3am..) and did my little morning ritual of listening to a prayer and then meditating. On my journey to find a guided meditation on YouTube, I found a short video by Joe Dispenza and it totally resonated with me and I had to share. 

I don’t know if you can relate to this but, do you think rewarding yourself is going and getting a gift, or going on a vacation, or even moving when you are tired of where you are and need some new scenery in your life, but is it a gift? Yes, it is a small gift in that it gives you a sense that yay, something new! But it wears off. The joy and sense of appreciation is waying…

Real self care, I believe, has to happen each and everyday. In your home, it can’t cost money and it brings you happiness and peace of mind in the day. 

I have always bought myself presents, vacations, moved too many times to count and always hoping to change me. Give a new perspective. And, it  does for moments, days and sometimes months but in the end I go back to the place of what is next? What can I get my little fix from? 

Today it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is self care. It is being able to listen to what is going on inside me, inside my head.

The word meditation is scary to some, in fact I had a guest on my show this week (it hasn’t aired) and she asked me about meditation and I told her about how I went to Penn and learned that my mind will never be silent but what I didn’t tell her is that it takes practice, kindness and patience. All things that I was not very good at….

I wasn’t good at doing the same things all the time, practice. But guess what? Structure in the end is good for me. 

Kindness to others, friends, neighbors I am great with, but true kindness to my family, my husband myself has been hard. We all have some sort of baggage we carry from our childhood and being kind to ourselves is of the utmost importance. If we aren’t kind to ourselves then how can we be authentically kind to others, and the ones we love the most. We need to LOVE ourselves. 

Patience is a virtue, and I didnt have that virtue and the older I get the more I realize that if I just wait and be patient everything works out the exact way it is supposed to. 

The deeper I dive into what is really going on inside of me and look at it honestly it is me that needs to change, I need to give myself the grace, courage and honor to listen to my heart. 

Today, take 5 minutes just to stop and breathe and listen to what is going on inside you. It may give you the answers you have been looking for.

Have a Happy Happy 

XO

Elizabeth aka Bizzy

Newsletter #7 Self Care

Super Bowl is over

Valentine’s Day is over 

Lent began on Wednesday….

It is the middle of February…it's almost Spring…and what to do? 

Did you give something up for Lent, are you going to do something different for the next 38 days? 

This time of year can be challenging. I remember when I lived in the Northeast and how depressing this time of the year was for me. It wasn’t exciting if it snowed in fact it was like ugh, not again. It was a little gray at times and it was depressing. 

How do you get yourself out of the funk and do something new! 

It is Lent and a time of change and introspection. I always tended to go on a big cleanse/diet this time of year because it was easy, I didn’t have a lot of plans so staying in and eating in was what I did. I embraced the quiet time of year to take care of me. Eat well and save money. 

Life doesn’t always have to be go, go, go. It is ok to have a time each year to take a glance back and make plans and goals for what you want in the future. 

I was raised in the Catholic church and I haven’t been a practicing Catholic for over 25 years but I have always loved lent. I like giving something up, not eating meat on Fridays (I rarely eat meat today) and knowing that when Easter came it was a time to celebrate. It wasn’t a punishment as much as a time to have deeper, more meaningful thoughts. It was a time to think about God and what Jesus went through. 

Whether you are religious or not the Bible is an amazing book, Ben Shapiro believes it is the best “self-help” book ever written. This is the season to think back over history and reflect what transpired and where we are today. 

If alcohol or drugs are your issue this can be a time to say, “I’m not using for the next 40 days, it is Lent”, and use this as a time to reestablish your relationship with “painkillers”, alcohol and drugs and seek help. This is a time to say I am going to give this or that up because it is a sacrifice I am willing to make for 40 days. 

This is about you believing in you, believing in something bigger than you that matters. Not the little things, it is the big things. Self care, self love that is what counts. God made you absolutely perfect! 

Family, friends, time to devote to quiet, prayer, and meditation are things that I am going to focus on for the next 40 days. I have given up popcorn. It may seem simple to you but popcorn is my #1 treat so till Easter I am not going to have any, I have also signed up for a daily prayer meditation that I am going to do for the next 40 days. 

I have made some devotions and it is important to me to thank God for the life I have and all of the gifts I have received and one of those gifts is you! 

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed today’s newsletter. 

I’ll be back next week and if you have any topics or subjects you want me to cover reach out to me at elizabeth@elizabethchance.com 

Take care and have a happy, happy. 

XO 

Elizabeth aka Bizzy 

Newsletter #6 Moving Forward: Letting Go & Embracing the Present

I have spent so many years looking back…pondering if this was different, if that was different…my life may be happy, if I could change something from my past I would have serenity and peace. 

I am happy to tell you that I wasted a lot of time! Not only time, but experiences, joy and happiness which are found in moments of a day.

History is very important to enjoy a successful life.. We learn from history. I look back and reflect on my past and see when times were good and times were bad and what I have come up with is that I wouldn’t change any of it. All of my experiences have made me who I am today. The good times and the bad. 

The real truth of it was I was afraid to feel sad and I was afraid to feel afraid! But, we all feel afraid at different times in our lives. Let's face it, fear is good in small doses. In my life I am still fearful of alcohol because it truly kicked my butt! It worked as a painkiller. It took away all feelings both good and bad. 

I spoke to a wise woman last week who said to me, “Drugs and Alcohol are just painkillers!” and she was so nonchalant about it and I have been thinking about that statement for a week and you know what she is right. 

We don’t want to hurt or feel badly so we pick up legal and illegal painkillers and the unfortunate thing is that they are not working! They are killing our society. 

When I was staring back at what had transpired in my childhood, my formative years, then the years I was raising children and living in different places I have concluded that I did my best at the time. Today, I give myself the grace of being kind to myself because at that time I didn't know what I know now. Would I have done life differently if I could have….probably not. 

We all get to Leave the Past in the Past. 

We get to live in the NOW in Today! 

I have a God box (it's an old shoebox) that I put names and situations that I cannot change into the box and give to God, (you can give it whatever you call your higher power) and let it go.

Our history is what makes life so interesting. You can glance and remember what a situation or feeling was like and then move forward in today. 

As my dear friend Lizzie says, “Have a happy, happy”

XO

Elizabeth 

5th Newsletter February 2nd, 2024

Happy February, because Valentine’s Day is the 14th. I always think about hearts and love in this month. I think back to when I was little and I made Valentine’s for everyone in my class. It was such a fun time, and wasn’t filled with anxiety or feelings of if this person likes me or not, it was just about giving everyone a card that represented that you cared about that person. (even if it was one day). 

If life were that simple today…

I have been reflecting for the past 24 hours about how much life has changed in a very short period of time. Let’s face it I am only 55 and the world doesn’t look like the same place that I grew up in or that I lived in just 6 years ago. In some ways it is unrecognizable. 2 + 2 does not equal 4. 

In my humble opinion I think we are living in a darkness and a time of adversity. Love and light can conquer it, but we need to come together rather than tear each other apart….last I checked no one is perfect. 

In 1988 I was 20 years old, people drank and partied and loved one another, it was also the year that the Internet was born! 35 years later our lives look so different. Church was still a big part of people's lives, no one carried around a small computer (ie a cell phone) that tracked every move you made and no one really cared what someone was doing on their vacation or what they ate at each meal. It was a much simpler time in my opinion. 

Drugs were not in every home in America. People were not running to the doctor for this ailment and that bad feeling. But, today people live at CVS and Walgreens, picking up a prescription is like going to the grocery store today, it is a mandatory. And our society is getting sicker and sicker and we thought this was helping but I think it is only hurting. 

When I got sober 17 years ago there were some younger people in the rooms but today they are filled with young people and the young people that I am hearing are in such horrible places it is gut wrenching. 

Gen Z is watching their contemporaries and friends die at a rate that is inconceivable. 

These young kids are having to bury their friends! 

A person’s brain isn’t fully developed on average till the person is 25 years of age. These kids are dying younger! 

It is hard enough to watch a loved one that is elderly die but to have to watch a friend that is 19 die of a drug overdose is mind boggling. What do you do with those emotions? These young adults are having feelings of remorse, why them and not me syndrome and how are they coping? They aren’t! As adults we don’t deal with death well and we expect these kids to be able to handle it…Insanity! 

My daughter called this week to tell me that someone at her small school committed suicide! She explained to me that this person was very lonely! SOMETHING IS WRONG!!!!

How we have been coping as a society is not working! 

One that drinks and does drugs is trying to kill the pain. The pain that sadly doesn’t disappear for long…you chase the high hoping that agony can be kept at bay but numbing does not work!

What does work is love, kindness, light and openness. Finding a true friend and confidant is what works. Someone to actually listen to you, and not judge you. Self love works, FORGIVENESS works. Taking the time to breathe and know that this too shall pass works. 

We are all graced with life. Being a human being isn't easy. Life will have its highs and its lows, it isn’t stagnant. 

Embrace your life, all of it! It is yours to cherish! Feel all the good and the bad. But don’t let one feeling define who you are, because let's face it if you mix up all the good and bad feelings they make up your life, your journey. 

I have always said that I want to slide into those golden arches in the sky and say to God, “thank you, that was an amazing ride”. 

Love you! 

Have a happy, happy 

XOXO

Newsletter #4

Black and White Thinking….

When I was drinking, everything in my life fell into two categories. One was good (light) and one was bad (dark) and I missed so much because I missed all of the colors in between. 

After years of reflection I realized that it was my judgment that made me that way. In fact, looking back, I was simple. If you didn’t do things the way I thought they should be done I judged you! 

With alcohol it was a HARD NO, I had no choice of good or bad, it was BAD! I haven’t had even a sip since August 14, 2006 but with life, raising children, technology, marriage there are things that I had to accept and change about myself. The first thing was that I don’t know everything, I am learning more and more each and every day. 

Being a parent is so hard! I hear it all of the time from women I help and I have to agree. It is impossible to make sure our children are safe 24 hours a day, it is hopeless to believe that they are going to make good choices all of the time and it is preposterous for us to believe that if we do what we believe is the very best that everything is going to turn out perfect! We are humans and we make mistakes…no matter what age we are. 

It is nutty that I thought that I would have a utopian relationship with all of my children. 

My journey has not always been easy and I feel like my black and white thinking and my mouth are why it has been hard. 

When I joined a 12 step program one of the promises was that I would no longer regret the past or wish to shut the door on my past and today I really feel that in my heart. It is through the struggles that we grow.

Changing my thinking and looking at things with different perspectives has not been easy. It has been humbling. 

Keeping my mouth shut has been a huge achievement. It took so much heartache and pain to get to this place where I am an observer and not a commentator. We don’t know everything, we don’t know how things are going to play out. It takes real trust in something bigger than you to have the ability to let go. God has given me the strength to realize that everything in his world is perfect even when my judgment says no it isn’t! I have to trust it isn't an option.

Getting out of the way and doing the best you can do each and everyday is a start. When we don’t drink it gives us a leg up, especially if we have had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. 

Try and see the colors and the beauty even if we think at first glance NO…trust and let go….

BTW prayer helps a lot!

Have a happy happy 

XO 

Elizabeth 

Newsletter #3 Prayer and Meditation

Life since Covid has been different. We all went through major changes during the time we were all locked in our homes. It was very traumatic. Some liked being at home because isolation is their happy place but for others it was a time of fear and uncertainty. Today things are open and at least for today we all are trying to manage and get back life like it used to be but will it ever happen? 

I am not sure of that but what I am sure of is that more women are drinking than ever before and more people are feeling hostile and angry over the changes that have occurred and what do you do when you are angry and you have no control? Pick up a drink or a drug to numb your feelings but the problem is that in the end it doesn't work…it hurts us. 

When I was getting sober I was very anxious and on edge, I had so many pent up feelings I was a little crazy. All I wanted was to live and experience life. It was as if I was given a new pair of glasses.. I wanted to scream from the rooftops that booze wasn’t the answer, life is the answer! Being awake and embracing your feelings for what they are in the moment was the true answer. 

Wanting to run away from today is normal, staring back at yesterday was where I lived most of my life and the other was in the future…what if this happens, what if that happens and I could not find peace! It was so exhausting…I would wake up exhausted from my dreams of shame, remorse, sadness it was so overwhelming. I wanted something to help me! Please….

Prayer was easy because I have always prayed, meditation now that was BIG for me…I mentioned earlier I have a lot of emotions and feelings racing through my brain and the thought of me sitting in a lotus posture, with my hands resting on my knees would be comfortable and zen NOT! It sounded like absolute hell to me. BUT I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING….When I started meditating ,I wanted no part of it. But, rather than running away I signed up for a meditation course, I had heard it was good for me but I feared so much. Time to walk through the fear. 

To surmise what I learned, meditation in my opinion is a time out! I will always have thoughts but what I learned to do with the thoughts was the key...I didn't have to do anything! In meditation I watch my thoughts go by (like clouds in the sky) and I don't have to react! OMG this is what I had been looking for a tool to not react! 

Reacting in times of fear and stress has not been pretty in my past. I scream, yell and act like a maniac and no one benefits from those outbursts. It is up to me as an adult to learn what to do not to react and for me it is truly taking 5 minutes just to sit and relax, breathe and feel. Everything is ok, it may not be perfect but it is manageable if I can take time just to be and accept that life is ever changing. I can't stop the change…I can’t stop the waves coming in…I have to accept these things and learn to ride the wave. 

Some days are harder than others, but I promise you,  if you take the time to pray and meditate your life will change and it will be for the better. 

Have a happy happy 

XO

Elizabeth aka Bizzy

Newsletter #2

Happy Friday the 12th of January 2024

Why is it that when our children are young, we can’t wait for them to grow up? Then they do what is natural and they fly away, we feel lost. My kids have left so many times and each time they do it hurts.

In my addiction, I ran from hurt and pain and today I sit in it. I feel the emotions and I use the tools that I have learned on my journey. Walk…pray and know that they will be back one day. 

Hope is such a great resource. 

We all need hope…something to look forward to in the future. A trip, a party, a lunch or coffee with a friend. Even a plan to catch up with an old friend over the phone is something to look forward to in future. 

Change is constant. Nothing stays the same, trees grow leaves in the spring and flourish in the summer, then the fall comes and all of the leaves fall and, in the winter, they lay dormant waiting for the spring to come again. As human beings we are similar. We go through times of vitality and thrive and times where we go through the pains of letting things go and waiting for time to pass so that we can grow again. 

Being a mother has been one of if not the greatest gifts that I have had the honor to do. It isn’t easy but it is so rewarding. Each stage of our children’s lives is different. Some days you feel like I am an amazing Mom and other days you think, why did I sign up for this! Being a woman and going through these stages is a true gift. 

Today people are confused and sick into thinking that God made them one way and they aren’t comfortable so I am going to go to the extreme and change who I am because I am uncomfortable. But sadness, remorse, and anger don’t last forever. It is fleeting like the leaves on the tree. 

Finding the tools that work for you to change is what is important. 

Take the time to see what works for you. Meditation, journaling, prayer, communication with another is just a couple of means to allow us to cope. 

In my opinion the world has made everything so fast. We can get in a silver tube and speed across the countryside, we can jump on a plane and be on the other side of the world in 24 hours. Instantaneous gratification is great when you want a hamburger but human emotions take time to marinate. It takes work! And not work that you need to climb a mountain pushing a large bolder but self-reflection takes time and courage. It isn’t easy but having the ability to give things the time that they need is imperative to a happy life. 

Give yourself the gift of time to reflect and small little things to look forward to in the future…life is a journey not a destination. 

Have a Happy happy 

Elizabeth