Newsletter #3 Prayer and Meditation

Life since Covid has been different. We all went through major changes during the time we were all locked in our homes. It was very traumatic. Some liked being at home because isolation is their happy place but for others it was a time of fear and uncertainty. Today things are open and at least for today we all are trying to manage and get back life like it used to be but will it ever happen? 

I am not sure of that but what I am sure of is that more women are drinking than ever before and more people are feeling hostile and angry over the changes that have occurred and what do you do when you are angry and you have no control? Pick up a drink or a drug to numb your feelings but the problem is that in the end it doesn't work…it hurts us. 

When I was getting sober I was very anxious and on edge, I had so many pent up feelings I was a little crazy. All I wanted was to live and experience life. It was as if I was given a new pair of glasses.. I wanted to scream from the rooftops that booze wasn’t the answer, life is the answer! Being awake and embracing your feelings for what they are in the moment was the true answer. 

Wanting to run away from today is normal, staring back at yesterday was where I lived most of my life and the other was in the future…what if this happens, what if that happens and I could not find peace! It was so exhausting…I would wake up exhausted from my dreams of shame, remorse, sadness it was so overwhelming. I wanted something to help me! Please….

Prayer was easy because I have always prayed, meditation now that was BIG for me…I mentioned earlier I have a lot of emotions and feelings racing through my brain and the thought of me sitting in a lotus posture, with my hands resting on my knees would be comfortable and zen NOT! It sounded like absolute hell to me. BUT I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING….When I started meditating ,I wanted no part of it. But, rather than running away I signed up for a meditation course, I had heard it was good for me but I feared so much. Time to walk through the fear. 

To surmise what I learned, meditation in my opinion is a time out! I will always have thoughts but what I learned to do with the thoughts was the key...I didn't have to do anything! In meditation I watch my thoughts go by (like clouds in the sky) and I don't have to react! OMG this is what I had been looking for a tool to not react! 

Reacting in times of fear and stress has not been pretty in my past. I scream, yell and act like a maniac and no one benefits from those outbursts. It is up to me as an adult to learn what to do not to react and for me it is truly taking 5 minutes just to sit and relax, breathe and feel. Everything is ok, it may not be perfect but it is manageable if I can take time just to be and accept that life is ever changing. I can't stop the change…I can’t stop the waves coming in…I have to accept these things and learn to ride the wave. 

Some days are harder than others, but I promise you,  if you take the time to pray and meditate your life will change and it will be for the better. 

Have a happy happy 

XO

Elizabeth aka Bizzy