Newsletter #14
/I’m back!!!
Three weeks away and I feel like a new person. I had no real expectations on what my trip was going to be…because of that, I was open to new experiences and let my fears, apprehensions, and possibilities go…
I wanted a new encounter.
Life is so precious and valuable and we all let things get into our way. Thoughts, fears and our egos.
I hear from people all of the time that need help and want to change but are stuck! They can’t get past the thought of, “what is everyone going to think of me?”, “how am I going to be judged by my peers”? Do we ever think about how we are going to be judged at the end of our life? How are our family going to view us?
My personal experiences in the past were that I put strangers' views and opinions of me above my own feelings. I put a need to be accepted by the “right people” above doing the right, kind and loving actions. Can you relate to that? It is in all of the movies, and television shows. What lengths are you going to go to feel Cool? To feel like you are worthy? Are you willing to change your appearance so that you can change to fit the mold that society is screaming for you to look like? Do you have your own opinion or is the opinion of your friend that is popular more important than what you know in your heart to be right? Do you take the time to listen to your heart?
The only reason that I can talk about these things is because I have experienced these traits personally.
I let others' views of me or I should say what I thought others felt (now I know no one is really thinking about me at all) surpass what I knew in my heart was right for me. Getting sober was one of those stages in my life that I put what I thought others would think of me not drinking above what I knew was right at my core. At the end of the day it was about me and no one else….
On my trip to Medjorgia I felt like I was being judged, but now I know it was me judging me! But in the moment it was easier to put it on other people.
Medjorgia is a place like no other that I had experienced before going. It was as if I went back in time. God and the Blessed Mother were everywhere. People were there searching for that feeling that we are OK! That God is alive and so is the Blessed Mother. We were there to have a feeling that has fallen away from society. The feeling is that we are not alone. That there is something bigger than us, that life isn’t about what you're wearing, or who your friends are. It is about being loving, kind and accepting of what graces you have. We are all individuals with amazing gifts and traits that are special. We are special. We are loved even though it may seem at times that we aren’t. I can tell you that indeed we are perfect! The exact way God made us.
I don’t want to come off as a holy zealot, but I went on this pilgrimage not knowing why I was there to know exactly the reason. I am on a path/journey to help others to know that they are not alone. You are loved and you too can change if you just open your heart. If you let life happen, embrace who you see in the mirror. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
In the past 17 years I have searched, and searched for answers. Took a yoga teacher training, went to Kabbalah classes and then some looking for answers to why? Why am I here? What am I doing? Searching for things outside of myself when all of the time everything was inside of me. I have been given so many gifts, most importantly my sobriety and my relationship with God. I am OK! And I am here to tell you that you are OK!
It is OK to rest, relax, and listen to your heart.
When we are running all of the time it is hard to hear. Noise is everywhere and I have learned that when I get quiet and let the noise go, put down my phone, stop looking at social media, stop watching the news I can hear peace.
I have always been searching for peace and serenity and until now I thought it was something I had to buy. A course, a coach, a therapist and today I know that if I just take time in the morning and pray, meditate, listen to the birds, peace and serenity appear and give me the ability to spend my day living in grace rather than fear.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend and week and know that you are never alone. You can always reach out to me if you need a friend just to listen.
You got this, I promise.
Have a happy happy
Love,
Elizabeth aka Bizzy