Fourth of July 2018 is right around the corner and all I have been thinking about is freedom! Freedom to live, freedom to feel any way we want to feel. The ability to protest: the ability to voice our concerns and our rights. Freedom today means a lot of different things to me. For example: when I was drinking I choose to have some of my freedoms taken from me, such as the freedom to drive my car. My freedom to do anything was changed the minute I took that first drink because all bets were off after I started drinking. It wasn’t the first drink that may have gotten me drunk, but the first drink did effect the receptors in my brain that control my ability to make sane rational decisions.
The disease of alcoholism affects my brain. It doesn’t necessarily affect my legs or my mouth, but I did say things that weren’t appropriate when I was drinking, and I fell down a lot after a couple of drinks. So, my brain that is in control of my thoughts and my legs was altered and really did not function the way that it is meant to function. The choices I made were not choices that I might have made if I were stone-cold sober. And that, my friends is a problem! Who wants to make decisions that upon waking the next morning they regret? No one! Drinking takes away all of our control, especially if we drink too much, which I did! So, the freedom I feel today, I LOVE!
Love and freedom are the two things that I cherish most in the world today. It isn’t the material items (even though I do like those too), it is the things that you can’t see with your eyes that matter.
Unfortunately, when someone is in the midst of their addiction the last thing they think they are going to gain is freedom. I never in a million years thought that was going to be one of the most important gifts of sobriety. Once you quit and are living in the acceptance that alcohol and drugs don’t work for you the clarity of the situation becomes apparent.
When you are addicted to drugs, alcohol or both those vices have a hold on you in ways that I can only compare to living in prison. All you want is more and it is never enough. The drug of choice is constantly calling your name. It becomes your God! Alcohol was my best friend and constant companion and little did I know how much it affected every decision I ever made!
Today I am not longer driven by or dictated to by alcohol. I am FREE and I hope for the remainder of my life I will be grateful and never go back. If you are out there struggling I promise life will be better than you could ever imagine without the need to get a fix! Freedom will come; it may take time but eventually it will happen.
If you feel alone or are battling the horrendous disease of addiction please reach out!
Happy 4th of July!