Since giving up alcohol I have always enjoyed making non-alcoholic drinks. I get a little creative! I took a hiatus from 2017-2023 and I am happy to say I am back with some new creations. Enjoy and remember that you can always have fun! It's your mind set! You got this!
Busy Living Sober is a non-profit organization dedicated to educating youth, teens, adults and families on the topics of addiction, recovery and clean, healthy living. Through speaking engagements, the organization works to bring awareness to the disease of addiction; reduce the stigma associated with the disease; and provide a safe, supportive environment where individuals can share their stories and receive advice.
This week’s vlog is about Freedom and what freedom means to me. On the cusp of the 4th of July, I have been thinking about how freedom really affects my life. Surprisingly, it affects many different aspects from transportation to thoughts. Ever since putting down the drink, I have had more freedom than I ever could have imagined.
I hope you enjoy this week’s vlog and have a very happy and safe 4th of July.
Best,
Elizabeth C, aka Bizz
Acceptance is the key to a happy life!
Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find that some person, place, thing or situation is unacceptable to me. Moreover, I can find no peace until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being the exact way that it is supposed to be at this moment. Unless I accept life completely as the way it is, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate on what needs to change in me, not on what needs to be changed in the world.
This is an edited version of how to handle acceptance and I believe this version can help any person. No matter what you are dealing with, we all have to accept what is going on around us. It is out of our control! Only we can handle how we react to the people, places, and things around us.
Our peace of mind is on us. No one else is in charge of our thoughts or how we are going to be affected, it is all ones’ perception. So rather than being quick to reply, take a step back and acknowledge that your thoughts are your own; there is no need to share. Especially if it is a negative response!
No one is perfect and judging others never makes us feel better!
#sobernotashamed
#busylivingsober
Expectations
The idea of how I would like my life to look compared to how it is in reality varies from day to day, which is challenging to say the least. Yesterday, I spent the day questioning my expectations about my life and what I was actually doing. This internal conflict I was having empowered me to share my thoughts and feelings through a video blog. In this week’s blog, I discuss the expectations we have for our lives and how those expectations affect those suffering from addiction.
Check my first video blog here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apZ3hTJS21A&feature=em-upload_owner
Let me know what you think.
The three most challenging personal characteristics are boundaries, expectations, and acceptance! We need to be reminded of these characteristics on an hourly and daily basis. When they are managed properly we feel a sense of happiness and serenity. How do we achieve happiness with these characteristics and how are they applied to our lives? This week I am going to cover boundaries and in the following weeks I will cover expectations and acceptance.
Wikipedia’s definition: “personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards him or her and how they will respond when someone steps past those limits.”
How do we set these guidelines in our lives when we have never truly experienced it before? I can tell you from my personal experience, it is extremely difficult! Especially if you are a people pleaser like I am. When I set boundaries I feel bad about myself and very insensitive. I also feel mean! My goal in setting these boundaries is not meant to be harsh, but to make sure that my personal needs are being met. After time, I have realized that I don’t deal well with chaos and drama. So, I ask myself what I need to do to ensure that I do not have those emotions. The answer is simple: I need to set boundaries.
I have provided an example on when people must set boundaries. For example, you have a plan to meet with an acquaintance at a certain time. You realize that your to do list is extremely long for that day, and that you cannot stay at this person’s house for long, only one hour! When you walk into their house, you exchange pleasantries and you also mention that you can stay for an hour. The visit is going very well and you’re having fun! In the back of your mind you know that the hour is approaching quickly; you keep glancing at your watch. You know that you have other priorities for the day that must be done, but you feel bad because the person now tells you she has made you her favorite pound cake. Oh my – you are in a bad place! You have to go but she made this delicious cake. So, you decide that you can stay for an extra half hour and that it is no big deal. The battle in your head is nutty because you set a specific time limit, and you must leave now!
I know everyone reading this knows what I am talking about! Boundaries are helpful and hard to practice!
My recommendation on how to set boundaries is practice, practice, practice! It takes time and work to figure out what you want your life to look like. Do you like chaos and drama? Cool! Then boundaries will not be that important to you. But for those of us like myself that cannot stand running around, and need time to smell the roses, I need these boundaries!
#busylivingsober #sobernotashamed
My only daughter is graduating from high school next week and I am feeling so emotional. I am happy, elated, feeling old, and sad… the list could go on to infinity! When my daughter was born over 18 years ago, I still remember how excited I was to have a baby girl! Hooray! I already had one boy and now a girl; life was perfect!
These times in my life seemed complete. It was as though all of my dreams had come true and in some ways they did, I had a husband that I was crazy about and I loved the house we lived in. It was built in the 1700’s and it had character! I felt like I could wear one of the “life is good” tee shirts everyday and truly mean it!
Unfortunately, these feelings didn’t last. They faded away! A divorce, a couple of moves, getting sober ugh… this list could go on as well. Today I am reflecting on my daughter’s life and what it has been like these past 18 years and it has been really awesome! She is an amazing person; I really, really like her and that is a gift! I know that the mother-daughter relationship can be very complicated. To say that my daughter and I are perfect and that we don’t fight would be a lie! We fight and scream at each other and I am not always thrilled with her choices, but I love her! For lack of better words she is MINE!
Putting together the flower arrangements for her party, making sure that all the reservations are made, and that all of the players will be where they need to be at her graduation, I’m a little bit of a mess. I am nutty, crazy, emotional Mom. Sometimes I need tissues, and sometimes I just need to have someone stand there and listen to me rant! I am emotional! YES I AM AN EMOTIONAL MOM! This is huge!!! Another one of my chicks is leaving the nest and it feels bittersweet!
To the parents of graduates this year, I am thinking about you! I know we all feel a little psycho, and it’s normal! Having these feelings is good! No one can take them away! And, if anyone pats you on the back and says it is going to be okay, you can give them the look, that says leave me alone! We all get it but it still hurts and feels happy all at the same time!
Good luck and don’t forget the tissues!
#sobernotashamed
#busylivingsobe
The unofficial start of summer, Memorial Day, is just a couple of days away. Oh how I love the summer! The warm days and being able to spend time outside playing golf or going to the pool are my two favorite things. This time of year also reminds me of how life was during my first year of sobriety – and what it was like having my first Memorial Day sober! I had 10 months when Memorial Day came around during my first year of sobriety and I was so nervous. I constantly thought about what I was going to do.
During my first year of sobriety, making plans was top priority for me. I did not want to feel different or alone that year. It gave me comfort to know that I was going to be involved in something social. For some reason or another, holidays always seem to include a lot of drinking, and for me drinking wasn’t an option back then or even today. So, how am I going to feel comfortable with everyone else drinking?
The first holiday was a lot harder than it is today. It does get easier for those of you reading this that are about to have your first sober holiday or Memorial Day!
Here are a couple of tips that worked for me:
1. Whatever you do on a daily basis that helps you with your recovery continue doing that even though it is a holiday and a vacation!
2. Our disease never takes a holiday so you have to treat it each and every day no matter what day it is.
3. If you plan on going to a party where there is alcohol or where you may feel uncomfortable, definitely have a way to leave. It could be a friend, a car or even an Uber!
4. Have an excuse ready for when you are ready to leave. For example, I have another party or my dog has been in the house for hours and I really need to go home and let them out.
5. Have a friend that you can talk to. Having someone by your side that will be non-judgmental and who will listen to you and you can be honest with always makes things better.
At the end of the day, what other people think about you is not important and to be completely honest – most people only think of themselves. So, if you are worried about what other people think about you not drinking, just remember that they aren’t thinking!
Have a great Memorial Day!
#sobernotashamed
#busylivingsober
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