Achieving Goals!

I have had one particular dream for a very long time! A dream that was and still is tough, but I know it’s becoming attainable because of my hard work and persistence!

When I started this journey, people along the way have doubted me… call them Debbie Downers. But, luckily for me I never let them get me down! I have always been positive and kept trying! Even when people have questioned my intentions or my goals and I didn’t know the answers, I smiled and powered through it. There will always be obstacles and people trying to shut you down, but you can’t let that distract you from accomplishing your dreams.

I learned not to give up after I got sober. Getting sober was not easy but it was attainable and it taught me that I can do anything I put my mind to.  I have never given up even when it has gotten really tough! Even at low moments, like when two of my closet friends passed away, I put in the work to stay sober. I didn’t give up and still haven’t! I always take it one day at a time and I’ve realized that’s the best way to achieve your goals.  

As I mentioned in this week’s vlog, I have some amazing news! Please stay tuned!  

Please don’t give up! Fear is a daunting thing, but faith trumps fear any day!

BusyLivingSobertm

Sobernotashamed®

Staying the course

It's probably no surprise that most of us have wanted to give up on something at one time or another. Perhaps you wanted to give up on playing a sport as a kid or on a job as an adult? Staying the course and not giving up is one of the hardest things to do.

It’s probably no surprise that most of us have wanted to give up on something at one time or another. Perhaps you wanted to give up on playing a sport as a kid or on a job as an adult?

Staying the course and not giving up is one of the hardest things to do. In some cases when we want to give up, all we need to do is wait instead of react. I know that it is hard not to react when we are uncomfortable with our situations or circumstances, but that is part of life. A person can never be sure that their choices and decisions are right until we give them a chance to pan out.  .

Personally, I have decided to change things without waiting in my life and it would have been better if I had waited and stayed the course. There were times earlier in my life when I didn’t like a job, I would immediately start looking for a new one without seeing what would happen if I stayed a bit longer.

From my experience I learned that everything in life does not happen instantaneously. We all have to take time to breathe and be, and just stay the course!

#sobernotashamed

#busylivingsobe

Fresh Starts and Making Changes

When is it time for a fresh start? Is it the end of a season? The start of school? Or, perhaps the New Year? For me, waiting for the perfect time to do something was my MO (modus operandi). I thought that my timing needed to be perfect before making a change.

When is it time for a fresh start? Is it the end of a season? The start of school? Or, perhaps the New Year?

For me, waiting for the perfect time to do something was my MO (modus operandi). I thought that my timing needed to be perfect before making a change. But, obviously, there is no exact or perfect time to make a change. Today, I believe you can make a change – or have a fresh start – at any point in time.  

Each and every one of us gets stuck in a rut a times! When it happens to me, I struggle with not knowing what to do. I have typically just sat around feeling uncomfortable with the fact that I didn’t know what I should do next. I would wish that a flashing neon arrow or a burning bush would magically appear and point at the direction I should go next.

Unfortunately, life is not the simple…or is it?

A smart person once said, that all difficult decisions are resolved on their own. You the person do not need to do anything but the next right thing!

What is the next right thing?

For example, if you want to win the lottery, you need to buy a ticket. If you want to be in a relationship, you may need to go meet new people by joining an online dating site or joining a gym. Chances are that the right person for you isn’t your mailperson – but maybe! If you are looking for a new way of getting to and from work, try taking a form of public transportation instead of driving.

If you want something or want to make a change, you must act. You must get busy! Get busy trying new things and going for what you want!

The Feelings Associated with Change

Labor Day represents the last (unofficial) day of summer, and fall is just around the corner. This change in season may be leaving some of us with feelings of anticipation and perhaps sadness. Some of us may be thinking, "Was our summer exciting enough?" or "Did I do all thing things I wanted to do?"

Labor Day represents the last (unofficial) day of summer, and fall is just around the corner. This change in season may be leaving some of us with feelings of anticipation and perhaps sadness. 

Some of us may be thinking, “Was our summer exciting enough?” or “Did I do all thing things I wanted to do?” And, others may be sad that you did do all of the things or they are coming to an end.

With all of these emotions and expectations leaving us feeling a little uncomfortable and sad, we should all try to just sit with those feelings and just be instead of reacting and trying to rid ourselves of those feelings.

Gratitude is a great tool to use to get us out of a funk! It reminds us that we can change our view and be happy and thankful for the things we do have. It also reminds us not to dwell in the things we don’t have.

It is also helpful to remember that life is speeding by and we shouldn’t wish it away. Time is something that is precious and we can’t get it back. So rather than wishing it away, cherish it.

This Labor Day Weekend, I will be getting busy enjoying all of the gifts around me! Those gifts include the ability to see the leaves changing and beginning to fall, or the rain.

Having the gift of sobriety opens up so many things for me – and the one I most cherish is the ability to live life to the fullest!

So please get out there and get busy living this last weekend of summer! Don’t dwell on what could have been this summer and live with no regrets!

#busylivingsober

The Emotional Trip to Drop My Daughter Off at College

Oh my goodness! I thought dropping my daughter off at college hundreds of miles away may be tough, but I didn't expect to be so emotional. When we were leaving, I broke down and cried hysterically. Why you may ask?

Oh my goodness! I thought dropping my daughter off at college hundreds of miles away may be tough, but I didn’t expect to be so emotional. When we were leaving, I broke down and cried hysterically.

Why you may ask?

She is starting her new life far away from her family and following her dreams.

My ability to have and feel these emotions was a good thing – not a bad one! If I weren’t sober, I would have wanted to push these emotions away and use alcohol to deal with it because I was afraid of feeling. Being sober, I was able to feel every single emotion I had and actually be able to deal with it and feel good about it. Today, I am not fearful of feeling anymore and I am okay with that!

Recently, I was talking to a younger person and he said that he thought that being sober was cool! He said it was way cooler than getting drunk or high!

Is the shame associated with addiction finally starting to disappear? I really hope so! My mission to change people’s view of addiction may be working. I am not taking the credit for this. I believe that young people today see the damage that drinking and drugs d0. And, to see a friend get and be sober today is COOL!

So, I will continue my mission and keep feeling while having life busy living sober!

Life’s Next Chapter – College Bound!

This week, I will be taking my daughter to college down in South Carolina and my emotions are all over the place. They are making me feel like I am crazy! Although I so happy for my daughter to be starting the next chapter of her life, I am sad.

This week, I will be taking my daughter to college down in South Carolina and my emotions are all over the place. They are making me feel like I am crazy! Although I so happy for my daughter to be starting the next chapter of her life, I am sad.

For some of you that are just tuning into my blog and vlogs, my daughter is going to college because her mom is sober. If I weren’t sober, I wouldn’t have been able to help her go visit colleges or even make pro and con lists about each one. And – most importantly – I wouldn’t have been able to help her decide on which school to spend the four years of her life at.  If I weren’t sober, I would be putting stress on my daughter that she doesn’t need. She would constantly being worried about me, where I was, what I was doing, and if I was okay.

Ten years ago, I knew that I had to get sober not only for myself, but for my children. I need to understand that I couldn’t have one drink and I couldn’t have 47! When I was drinking, I would black out, fall down and not remember a thing. At the time, I had no idea that my drinking problem was a result of not dealing with my life and my feelings. It was more about my inability to have a feeling without falling apart.

What is important to remember is that feelings come and go! The feeling I had of shame said more about me than what others were thinking. The bottom-line is that what other people think about me is none of my business.

I have to constantly remind myself that my life is beyond a gift! I am able to be present for my kids and that was not possible when I was drinking. I am able to help each of them make important decisions – like college – and be there for each of their life events.

Get busy living sober!