Planning a Sober Wedding


8 days till I say, “I do!” and did I forget to mention that it is 3 days till Christmas?! As you can imagine, emotions galore are running through my head! My saving grace has been the ability at certain times to just let go. It is all going to be alright! Do any of you remember the scene from Home for the Holidays when Holly Hunter’s character is dealing with family for the holidays and her daughter (Claire Danes) reminds her just to float? Let’s say I have been floating!

This is not my first rodeo when it comes to Christmas or when it comes to planning a wedding. The major difference is that this time around, I am going to be sober and so is my fiancé. A friend of mine said, “this is like your first marriage because you will be completely present.” –and she’s right. I am so excited because every detail has been made with a clear head! The emotions that I wished would disappear are all present this time around and guess what – that is okay today; in fact it is a gift!

My fiancé and I are having a sober wedding. My first wedding was at 10am and people that attended are still talking about it 23 years later! It was a big drinking occasion. It is funny in a sense and a little humiliating in another. I don’t even really remember my first wedding. I didn’t pre-game at 8am but at the reception I drank for sure. All I remember is getting to our destination for our honeymoon and thinking to myself, “what just happened?” and then drinking my way through our vacation celebration. Looking back, I have no regrets because I didn’t know anything different. But today I do!

Today, being present and aware can be freighting at times and, to be perfectly honest, uncomfortable. What is my number one feeling? The fear of other’s judgement. How are the guests that do drink alcohol going to feel about the fact that there won’t be any at our wedding? So many details go into a wedding and is everything going to be okay? Is everyone going to have a good time? That is what I worry about the most: is everyone going to walk away from our big day saying that it was memorable and fun? I want everyone to have fun and I also want people to know that it is possible without alcohol.

We are going to have some of our favorite mocktail recipes at the event and they will be served in pretty glasses and who knows, maybe there will be an aphrodisiac effect? The fact that the drinks are served in a certain glass will give guests the same effect as alcohol. It will help them relax and let them feel comfortable enough to let down their personal guard and open up. In the end, I hope that people can enjoy an event with or without the booze because that is what alcohol did for me. It made me relax but because of my alcoholism, I could never have just one!

I will let everyone know after how the whole sober wedding goes and let you know how every detail came off (let’s hope without a hitch)!

Happy Holidays and Keep get Busy Living Sober!