This week, I will be taking my daughter to college down in South Carolina and my emotions are all over the place. They are making me feel like I am crazy! Although I so happy for my daughter to be starting the next chapter of her life, I am sad.
For some of you that are just tuning into my blog and vlogs, my daughter is going to college because her mom is sober. If I weren’t sober, I wouldn’t have been able to help her go visit colleges or even make pro and con lists about each one. And – most importantly – I wouldn’t have been able to help her decide on which school to spend the four years of her life at. If I weren’t sober, I would be putting stress on my daughter that she doesn’t need. She would constantly being worried about me, where I was, what I was doing, and if I was okay.
Ten years ago, I knew that I had to get sober not only for myself, but for my children. I need to understand that I couldn’t have one drink and I couldn’t have 47! When I was drinking, I would black out, fall down and not remember a thing. At the time, I had no idea that my drinking problem was a result of not dealing with my life and my feelings. It was more about my inability to have a feeling without falling apart.
What is important to remember is that feelings come and go! The feeling I had of shame said more about me than what others were thinking. The bottom-line is that what other people think about me is none of my business.
I have to constantly remind myself that my life is beyond a gift! I am able to be present for my kids and that was not possible when I was drinking. I am able to help each of them make important decisions – like college – and be there for each of their life events.
Get busy living sober!