Decision Time

Earlier this week, I returned from a trip with my daughter to visit a college for the second time. The first time we visited the school it was just for a “look see,” and she liked it, applied and was accepted. You would have thought that “Hooray” would have been her response, but it wasn’t.

My daughter was torn. So, to the airport we went!

While sitting on the plane waiting to depart for our trip, I looked over at my daughter and she seemed uncomfortable, with only anger and fear showing on her face. I turned to ask her if she was okay and she ignored me.

Now I was angry. My daughter is so blessed to have this opportunity and she is acting like a spoiled brat.

After taking my daughters phone about 10 minutes into our flight, my daughter finally spoke. “What?!,” she asked. I then asked her why she was mad, and she told me that she was scared – or at least thought that’s why she was acting this way. Her response was not foreign to me, as a lot of people feel like her. This is particularly true when one has to make a major decision.

Do any of us ever know the right answer? Or, does everyone just go with their gut instinct and hope for the best?

For me, I used to go with the flow. I didn’t ponder decisions for too long while I was dealing with my addiction, especially if my friends were making the same decisions too.

Today, I ponder and ponder some more. I ask everyone’s opinion, weigh the pros and cons, and pray! I pray that God will show me a sign – like a burning bush or a sign flashing "go this way" in neon lights – but it never happens.

We all have something inside of us that helps us navigate life. I call it intuition, my gut and my higher power’s will. For me to listen to my gut, intuition and higher power, I must be quiet and avoid distractions so that I can be calm enough to hear, embrace and trust my feelings.

It has taken me many years to really learn and practice this using a tool called meditation.

Each time I suggest meditation to my daughter, she looks at me like I have ten heads and I am absolutely insane to even suggest this! However, because I am her mother, she trusts me. She knows that whatever decision she makes can be changed. We all have that option. It is okay to change our minds, especially when we know we have gotten ourselves into a bad situation.

It takes guts, intuition and strength to make a change! Why then do we judge ourselves so harshly when we make a bad choice? I believe it takes courage to recognize when we have made a bad choice, and most of our problems occur when we just stay in a bad situation. I often give this piece of advice: if something is bad, make a choice to change it and keep trying to change. That is true growth!  

And, it is important to not feel like you have to make your changes alone. It is okay to ask for HELP!